31-year-old newlywed argues with her husband about getting to the airport on time for their honeymoon, regrets marriage over this: 'We could end up missing our flight!'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 17, 2025 4:00 PM EST

No one wants to miss a flight, especially if it's on the way to their honeymoon.

This couple seemed to have a minor disagreement about when they needed to leave for the airport for their international trip to Japan. This vacation was meant to double as both their honeymoon and their anniversary, but it ended up exposing more flaws in their relationship than anything else.

It turns out that the author's husband is an anxious flyer, while the author herself likes to plan for every possible hindrance that could get in the way of their journey to the airport. They live 90 minutes away by driving, and given the instability of airport traffic these days and an impending storm, she wanted to leave four hours before takeoff. 

Her husband, on the other hand, wanted to time everything so that they could board the plane as soon as they got to the gate and so that the plane could depart just after they took their seats. According to him, waiting by the gate contributes more anxiety for him than anything else. However, this mentality only contributes to the author's anxiety about missing their flights. At this point, it's just a vicious cycle from there. Keep scrolling below to find out how it all escalated and what folks in the comments believe to be the future of their marriage.

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  • Backview portrait of a man and woman walking and carrying their luggage through an airport.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It sounds silly to say that these two should break up over this. They shouldn't. Still, they are both clearly stubborn individuals who like to weaponize each other's anxious tendencies. That is what actually speaks to what clearly is not a very healthy dynamic. That's not to say that it cannot improve from here, but if they can't compromise about when they want to get to the airport, what can they compromise on?

  • "[Am I wrong] for wanting to leave early to the airport for our first international flight?"

    Me (F31) and my husband (M32) are going on our first trip to Japan for our honeymoon/1st year wedding anniversary. Our flight is in less than 2 days and we are in disagreement as to how
    via danyellitaz
  • early we should be arriving to the airport. Our flight departs LAX airport at 11:30am and I want to be at the airport by 7:30am (4 hours before departure). He
    via danyellitaz
  • wants to be at the airport by 9:30am (2 hours before departure). For context, He has never flown international and is afraid of flying so his anxiety is very high right now. He claims he
    via danyellitaz
  • doesn't want to end up waiting at the airport extra time before the flight because the anticipation will make his anxiety worse. I myself am anxious that if we don't allow ourselves extra time
    via danyellitaz
  • for things to go wrong and for possible traffic delays (we live 1.5 hours away from LAX) then we could end up missing our flight.
    via danyellitaz
  • For further context, I have planned this entire trip myself with very little input from him. By his choice because he has been anxious just thinking about flying
    via danyellitaz
  • for 12 hours on a plane. I researched, purchased the tickets, booked hotels and excursions, prepared the itinerary
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  • and arranged for our ride to and from the airport. I am adamant about arriving 4 hours early due to a stormy weather forecast, g shutdown chaos,
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  • possible traffic delays as we approach the Los Angeles area and also to allow time to eat breakfast and relax before the flight. He says I am selfish (an
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  • asshole?) and don't care about his anxiety for possibly making him wait at the airport for a longer time before the flight. Am I the asshole?
    via danyellitaz
  • Backview portrait of a man and woman walking and carrying their luggage through an airport.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • ackerfactorywh... 12h ago. NAH. It's recommended you get to the airport about 3 hours before an international flight. I'd compromise and do that instead.
    via danyellitaz
  • CommentIndepen.... 12h ago Can you stay at an airport hotel the night before your flight so you are very close to the airport, don't have to worry abt traffic and he can chill in the calm room a bit later in the morning?
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  • OfAn Old Republic 12h ago . As much as I hate to reduce a marital dispute like this to "you're right, he's wrong," | used to fly out of that terminal a lot for business,
    via danyellitaz
  • and... you're right. Especially with the current disruption with flights, but in the best of times LAX generally, and that terminal particularly, are a crap shoot, and with your travel
    via danyellitaz
  • time as a consideration planning to arrive 4 hours before your flight is the right move.
    via danyellitaz
  • BUT, does your husband even really want to go on this trip? At all? To a person with anxiety about planes, LAX to Japan would be nightmare fuel. You're in the
    via danyellitaz
  • air for 12 hours, likely in the plane for closer to 14. Add the time before the flight and the time to clear customs and get out of the airport on the other side, and that's 20 hours of hell.
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  • You said you've done all the planning, because he is anxious, but are you sure that he's not trying to tell you something here?
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  • It sounds like this trip is really important to you, but I strongly suggest that you sit down and talk with him, and make sure he's not just agreeing so as not to disappoint you. I'm afraid
    via danyellitaz
  • you're setting you both up for a horrible situation when he finally loses it and can't get on the plane. Blessings on you both, whatever you decide. NAH
    via danyellitaz

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aita marriage honeymoon airport flight wedding entitled people karma couples Travel entitled people
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